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How to Persuade Your Partner to Participate in a Threesome!

By Suzy Bauer

Author of Step by Step Threesome

 Let’s face it, most threesome initiatives are started by males. There are exceptions of course, however in the vast majority of cases it’s the guys that come up with the idea…   

 If the female is the one with the initiative or if both   of you are convinced about pursuing the threesome fantasy, you’re one step ahead.

However if you’d like to experience a threesome and you’ve never discussed it with your partner, you might need some guidelines to help you persuading her into participating in your fantasy.

The first thing that you’ve got to take into consideration is that women place high values   on the pair-bond.

Women are very apprehensive of anyone and anything threatening the health and longevity of the relationship between her and her partner.

For most women, a threesome carries risks she’s not eager to accept.  The first giant obstacle you’ll face  will be to overcome her insecurity.

Besides the social conditioning she was raised with, there are some obstacles that need to be cleared before she can be enthusiastic about inviting someone else into an intimate session.

• Any woman who truly cares about you worries about the relationship, with all the classic fears and uncertainty about your love. You have to understand that she often asks herself; “Does he love     me fully?”

•   “Does he love only me?”

•   “Does he really like me the way I am?”

• “Am I woman enough to keep him satisfied?” 

•  “Will he leave me for a younger/firmer/prettier woman?”

Filled with uncertainty and jealously she will defend her turf against all possible threats.

The only responsible person to ease the above mentioned issues is the male in the relationship. Happy, secure, confident women aren’t very jealous.

What Behavior Triggers Her Insecurity?

If your partner is jealous, the root might stem from your own behavior. If you recognize yourself in some of this behavior, your partner has every right to feel insecure about your relationship:

        You’ve frequently expressed yourdissatisfaction about her

        You constantly criticize her and never compliment her

        You flirt with every cute woman you see

        You stay out all night from time to time

        You’ve habitually expressed your discontent with your life and your relationship

        You only touch her while having sex and you  don’t express your love often

       You’ve threatened to leave her

Any of these types of behavior will rapidly turn into insecurity, resentment and a constant jealousy. The insecure woman’s worst nightmare is another female in her life and the last thing she’ll do is invite another woman into your bed.

Remember: your partner has to feel very secure of your relationship before she grants you a threesome. So make sure you never threaten your relationship. It doesn’t matter how angry or upset you become. She needs to know that you guys are an item and nothing will ever break your bond.

Female Security is the number 1 Point of Consideration

 If you want her to be sexually confident, you must    work very hard to make her secure in your love. If you’re serious about taking your sex life to a level where  a threesome can occur you’ll need to make your partner so happy, so positive, so confident and so secure in your  love that she’s unafraid to share you with another woman.

What can I do to make her feel secure?

       Compliment her and show her how much you love her on a regular base. Write her a loving card, buy her flowers, cuddle up   with her on the sofa, whisper in her ear   how beautiful she is; there are lot’s of small things you can do that have major positive impacts. Feeling loved, accepted and secure are powerful female aphrodisiacs. She’ll be much more loving if she feels you’re happy with her.

       Avoid silly remarks about her looks at all costs, especially if they’re things that she cannot change. Avoid telling her that she’s fat. Instead of making negative remarks,  try to compliment her as often as possible.

       Don’t flirt with her friends unless you’ve  got her approval. If she believes your threesome is just a devious plot to bonk   her best friend, you’ve got no chance of   ever pulling it off.

       Before you tell her about your intentions    of having a threesome, you must be sure   she’s certain that a threesome isn’t threatening her relationship with you.

 Persuasion

It may very well be that your lover fantasizes about a threesome too, but has been afraid or embarrassed to admit it. Contrary to men, women seldom speak to the point and often beat around the bush before telling you what they actually want. If you want her to talk about her fantasies, you can encourage her by:

• Listening to her. Magic words for women are "Interesting, please tell me more." Then all you need to do is shut up, listen and learn.

• Being supportive of her opinions and ideas. If you criticize or invalidate her, she’ll not reveal her private thoughts.

• Affirming that you consider all her desires to be perfectly normal. Acknowledge her fantasies.

• Making her more receptive to your fantasy by assuring her that bisexual desires don’t depreciate her value as a lifelong partner. Tell her that diverse fantasies make her more interesting, alluring and captivating as a sexual partner.

• No pushing her into something that scares her. Allow her to become accustomed to the idea. Let her explore the thoughts with you.  Women work out their problems by discussing them; encourage her to talk to you.

Using the Right Words

Females are much more fined tuned when it comes to using the right words. A common mistake from males when attempting to persuade their partners is to use        the wrong the words or the right words at the wrong time.

For example, if she fantasizes about having a threesome with a male friend, insensitive guys ask things like: “Would you like to suck his cock?” or “Would you like to feel his dick up your ass?”

This is a normal thing to say for a guy, but I can assure you that this type of vocabulary is not appreciated by women.

If she mentions that she fancies a threesome with a female friend, an insensitive guy might be silly   enough to ask “Would you like taste her pussy?” or “Would you like her to suck yours?” These kinds of   comments go too far, too fast, too soon.

In some cases, I know of guys disclosing their  fantasies saying things like this: “I’d like to have sex with two women at once.” As you can imagine this won’t go down so well with her.

It’s always better to say: “I’d like to share you with another woman.”                  This confirms you’re not replacing her and she’s still the center of your world.

One very important point: when she asks you who that woman would be, your best bet is not to mention any name. Tell her the choice would be hers.

This removes any suspicion that you have already done “research" on your project and eases her fear that you want someone she doesn’t like. Besides,  this’ll also get her involved in the process.

From the moment you’ve cleared this issue,   arranging a threesome will be a piece of cake!

www.stepbystepthreesome.com